This blog has like three subscribers, but spam bots keep posting to tell me that I’m doing a great job and that I should post more. Now that my schedule has calmed down, I will oblige them.

 

EDIT: I earned a WordPress achievement for this. That’s pretty spiffy.

The United States is just getting stupid. Everything, everywhere at any point in time can now get you into some sort of civil or legal trouble. This article details the plight of a 13 year old who was arrested for burping in class. First, burps are usually involuntary, and second, even if he burped on purpose, since when is that illegal? At worst he should have been sent to the principal’s office.

When I was in 5rd grade, I got sent into the hall for having the hiccups in an English class once. Though I didn’t think so at the time, that was probably a merited response. I’m one of those people who has super loud hiccups that sound like the unholy mix of a harmonica, a rooster at the volume of an air horn. Plus, when I get the hiccups, they tend to last for like 30 minutes. Luckily for me, it only happens about once a year, and even more luckily for me, I didn’t get the hiccups in modern day New Mexico, in a 7th grade classroom, because that would probably get me arrested.

I remember being pretty upset that I was sent out into the hall for hiccuping. I really liked being at school and English was my favorite class when I was in 5th grade. If I had been arrested for it, that would have messed me up really well. Not to mention the big black mark this kid is going to have on his permanent record.

Am I the only one who thinks we should be arresting murderers and rapists and thieves and bankers who steal trillions in tax money? Can’t we just leave gassy children alone?

I am a depressed all the time.

When I was alone, I thought having a girlfriend would fix it.

When I got a girlfriend, I thought having a wife would fix it.

When I got a wife, I thought money would fix it.

When I got money, I realized that I was at the end of the line.

Nothing has made me feel better.

This link proves it.

He’s got to be pandering to the sick, evil douchebag crowd. I can think of no other explanation.

These two lines:

 

“Really poor children, in really poor neighborhoods have no habits of working and have nobody around them who works so they have no habit of showing up on Monday”

“They have no habit of staying all day, they have no habit of I do this and you give me cash unless it is illegal

 

Blow my mind. I can’t even do my snarky wizard role play thing in response. Whether or not Gingrich wins the Republican nomination or the presidency, is going to be completely dependent on the number of evil douchebags who vote. Nobody else will vote for this twisted muppet man.

People don’t dislike him just because he is a Christian, people dislike him because he is an obnoxious ass who uses his position of fame to showcase frequent, mindless, displays of his religion, where none are needed or even really appropriate.

This is what Christians don’t seem to understand. Not everybody buys your particular flavor of nonsense, and not everybody wants it crammed down their throats. There is an appropriate time and a place for everything, and the list of appropriate times and places for religious displays are much smaller than you believe. Being notified of that fact, and having people who disapprove of obnoxious displays of your religion, is not persecution of Christianity. It is an entirely appropriate response to your wrongdoings.

I realize that they are trained to be oblivious to this fact. Back when I was a Christian, I was taught by the evangelical pastor at my Southern Baptist Church, to believe that everyone, everywhere, without exception and regardless of their stated desires and beliefs needs and wants Jesus. Thus, no matter what protests you hear, you should plug Jesus at every given opportunity to everyone everywhere. I was also taught that atheists really do believe in Yahweh,  but for whatever reason (pride, arrogance, or they were abused, etc) they will deny it, and that it was super-duper important to display your faith to them.

As an atheist, I can honestly say, I do not believe in any gods. Yes, that includes Yahweh and Jesus. I am not interested in solicitations for your religion, nor would I like you to make an effort to turn random, secular activities into commercials for your imaginary friends.

I didn’t want to make a Thanksgiving post, and it’s after Thanksgiving Day, but I keep seeing nonsense on the internet about how Thanksgiving is a day where we all sit around and thank our imaginary friend of choice for all of the very real things we have. Professional retard, Ben Shapiro tweeted “Unreal that Obama doesn’t mention God in Thanksgiving message. Militant atheist. To whom does he think we are giving thanks?”.

You know who I gave thanks to?

My wife.

Shes the one who cooked all of the food. Cooking an elaborate meal is not easy to do, but she did it. She also washed a bunch of dishes. There was no deity that came down to wash the dishes or prepare the meal. It was 100% natural and it was 100% her effort.

You know who she gave thanks to?

Me.

I bought all of the food. I paid for all of the dishes we ate it off of and I paid for the electricity that our oven uses. I paid the rent for the apartment we ate in. There was no sky magician who rained gold coins down on me, nor is there a sky magician running my business, paying my rent, or paying my taxes. It was 100% natural and it was 100% my effort.

If you want to take a step back, we could thank the grocery store for stocking the food and selling it to me. We could take another step back and thank the truckers who drove it there, the gas refineries that made the fuel and the machinery companies that built the trucks. If you want to take another step back, we could thank the oil companies that pumped up the oil that became gasoline for the trucks, the miners who mined the ore for the metal in the trucks and the processing plants that processed the food. Take it a step further back, and we’re thanking the farmers who grew the food.

What’s missing from all of this?

God/s.

No deities had any hand in my minor Thanksgiving celebration. Why waste time thanking someone’s imaginary friend, when lots of real effort went into the creation of that meal?

Plus, the leap of logic in Shapiro’s tweet is mind boggling.  Not mentioning something is now somehow equivalent to hostility to it. Huzzah.

I can’t take them seriously. Every time I read one, some feminist writes a post, then in the comment section, someone asks for an argument made in the post to be clarified, or dissents from the argument in the post.

Then there is this belittling shitstorm, wherein the dissenter is called a “mansplainer” (which so far as I can tell, means someone who disagrees with the post, and has a penis), and/or a sexist, and/or a “rape apologist”. If their comment asks how x-random poorly-conceived feminist idea will effect men, they can expect to have their arguments condescendingly summed up as being “what about teh menz?!?!111″, because, you know, it’s totally silly to wonder how an idea will effect half of the population of the planet.

The really funny, and ironic thing about this behavior, is that the feminists themselves are assuming that anyone who disagrees with them, without stating their gender, is by default male. Hooray for hypocrisy! Hooray for assumed gender roles!

Does anyone know of any feminist blogs I can read, which won’t just be dedicated to telling me that I’m evil because I’m white, male, straight, married, college educated and have money? Does anyone know of any that I could go to, to have a discussion without just being flamed for pages because I asked someone to explain their idea, rather than just accepting it wholesale, instantaneously?

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